CAUTION: Golden Retriever
Read all instructions before opening your heart to a Golden Retriever
Golden pups will howl pitifully all night
long, very loudly, until they stop missing their littermates and are used
to their cage. This crying (barking/yipping) peaks in volume and intensity,
just before the sun comes up.
Golden pups tinkle (urinate) approximately
every ten minutes, and move their bowels just before company arrives, during
a family meal, or just before someone decides to let the puppy out. Small
children will usually step in the social error, especially if it is on a
carpet.
Golden pups chew everything up. They start
with shoelaces and tissue (cute!) and proceed to shoes, table legs and books.
An adolescent Golden can easily dispatch a kitchen cabinet, drywall or a
picnic table.
When not chewing, adolescent Goldens dig.
Their favorite spot is a muddy part of the yard, but failing that they will
settle for a flower garden or bushes. After they dig a large hole, they
roll in it, so they resemble a rooting pig or a wild boar.
Mature Goldens develop an ability to seek
out and roll in the most odorous item. Their favorite is old dead fish lying
in the sun, followed by deer byproducts and dead skunks. The rolling usually
occurs after a trip somewhere so the newly anointed dog presents a transportation
problem home. The Golden's collar usually must be replaced, as it will stink,
too.
Mature Goldens also develop a great appreciation
for a variety of food, including garbage and sandwiches left unwittingly
on the coffee table. This appetite extends to, but is not restricted to,
take-out food, baby food, and food thawing on the kitchen counter.
All Goldens shed millions of dog hairs
every day. Usually the hairs collect on contrasting fabric or the top of
a jello mold meant for a special event.
Goldens live about twelve years, which
means you will outlive your dog. When you do, it will break your heart and
you will miss all this.
by Sue Sommer
| Puppy reservation expert Puppy Support Person |
Jackie & Joe Mertens |
